


Worth it

by writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle (twoandahalfslytherins)



Series: Convenient Group of Femslash Fics [18]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse Mentions, F/F, Mobility Aids, Physical Disability, is preship something people tag for anymore?, it starts out with a sadder vibe and ends with fluff, like it ends in basically 'can we go on a date', modern zinefest au, more preshippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9579731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoandahalfslytherins/pseuds/writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle
Summary: Maria was eternally grateful that Aaron helped her get out of a bad situation.A little less grateful for the way he hovered around her, constantly worrying about what might happen. If she could actually handle doing the things she wanted to do.But what happens when his prediction that she'll fall at an event comes true?And can the people who help her out make even the pain feel worth it?





	

The thing about being friends with someone for so long was that it often meant it was possible to predict what they were going to say. 

What they were thinking, even. Maria tightened the laces on her shoes, refusing to acknowledge the other party in the room. “You’re not my mom.”

“That’s a relief.” A sound, probably Aaron sitting on the couch. “You still shouldn’t be going out.”

For which reason?

The bitterness of that thought made Maria want to laugh, but it was true. There was a list of reasons she shouldn’t have slid boots over the ace bandages on her ankles. None of which were going to stop Maria, of course. 

“His plane left yesterday.”

Aaron made a disgusted sound. “You know he got on it?”

No. No, Maria didn’t, but what did Aaron expect her to do? Stay inside for the rest of her life because of James Fucking Reynolds. 

No.

Maria had done that. She’d lived in fear of James for long enough while she was with him, no need to keep it up now.

No time for fear. Not anymore. “I’m wearing my steel toes and my rings.”

“And when you fall? When you’re out on whatever adventure you think you’re ready for and your body fails you- what are you going to do?”

When Maria fell she’d get back up. Aaron needed to remember that, that Maria had been dusting herself off for longer than he’d been around. But snapping that would start an argument, would keep her here longer because she hated leaving things on those kinds of terms. 

No matter how many times Aaron got on her nerves, he was still the one who had been there when she fled James the first, second, third time. She didn’t want to lose him.

“I’ll have my phone. I even have that second charger thing you got me for Christmas last year-” Shoes in place, Maria moved to the mirror, rubbed a hand over the soft fuzz on her head. It’d been a blitz decision a few days before, when James came into town, but she hadn’t quite accepted it yet. Couldn’t stop gravitating to vanities, prepared to throw it up in a ponytail. “My cane too. Can you stop acting like I’m going to go mountain climbing?”

“Considering you still haven’t told me where you’re going- no.”

Maria rolled her eyes, turning to look at him. “See, if I told you, you’d probably follow me ‘just in case.’”

At Aaron’s deadpan look, Maria made a face. “It’s just a zinefest. I’ll be gone less than three hours and there are benches I can rest at.”

Or at least, there had been.

One of the things that Maria had come to accept with her condition was checking places out beforehand, either in person or having a friend go. Just a quick look to see how many stairs there were, what the floor looked like- how much seating there was. Simple things that made a world of difference in whether or not Maria would be able to go.

But the organizers of the fest had moved the benches in favor of tables.

Which was fine. Absolutely fine. Such a thing didn’t seem to bother the other attendees, after all, they were scattered around, stealing shade beneath trees. Maria wouldn’t be able to get herself off the ground- so-

She would just have to keep track of the time.

Cringed at the lack of a map, meaning she couldn’t even plot out where to go. Tried to convince herself that it was fine, she hadn’t really come hoping to find anything specific anyway. She’d come to browse and while it would have been nice to have an idea- well, it would have been nice to have a lot of things.

At least it was outside on mostly even dirt, she’d take that over walking on concrete any day. 

Taking a deep breath, Maria took a few more steps inside the gate, careful to keep her cane close. Heaven knew crowds rarely bothered to notice it. 

Browsed the first two tables, trying not to feel self-conscious about taking up too much room. Walked away two dollars lighter and with a mini-zine about cats. For Aaron, of course.

Made her way toward a tree so that she could lean against it when he texted her. Responded with ‘I love you’ instead of ‘Fuck you’ when he asked if she was okay. Because learning how to pick her battles was part of friendship. So was opening up and letting people care about her. It just- sometimes caring about her and controlling her felt like two sides of the same coin.

Stayed there for a few minutes, just watching the crowd. Vibrant hair colors outnumbered the rest, but there was a decent amount of shaved heads. They looked good, too. Especially when coupled with jean vests or bags covered in pins.

Maybe Maria would get some of those too. 

But that meant moving away from the tree and well- the tree was safe.

Maria didn’t come to the zinefest to sit on the sidelines. No matter how tempting it was. No matter how much Aaron would approve. 

The next two tables were largely a bust, at least in terms of anything Maria would want to get. But the artists were friendly enough, even when it became clear that they weren’t Maria’s sort of thing. 

At the next one, with a table full of recipe books that were calling Aaron’s name, Maria shifted her cane to center, fingers clenched around the handle as she leaned over it, trying to debate whether Aaron would prefer the one on desserts or baking bread that had the cute picture of the cat on the cover.

Sadly, it was not a zine about baking with cats. That was something that would have come straight out of her roommate’s psyche.

But it would do. 

Maria tucked the zine into her backpack before slinging it over her shoulder and sliding the cane to her right hand.

A few paces ahead, a little boy in a bright red shirt darted from his mother, weaving through the crowd with a bag of candy in his fist. Too fast for Maria to try and move, he stumbled as he hit the bottom of her cane. Not that it slowed him down any, the little one huffed and just kept running as Maria’s center of gravity shifted.

Frantic, the mother followed, shouldering past Maria, and too late Maria tried to grip for the table-

“Fu-” There were children around. There were children. Maria couldn’t curse in front of the children, no matter how badly she wanted to. 

Ten fingers. Ten toes. Maria wiggled them in order, breathing in and out through her nose. She still had all ten fingers and all ten toes. Beyond the dull ache where her arm must have hit the edge- her arms were okay. Torso was fine too.

Of course, her ass hurt.

But even the throbbing in her right leg wasn’t enough to block out the sound of a woman talking above her.

“-space to breathe, christ.” 

The first thing Maria noticed when she opened her eyes, was her cane, black body leading up to the red wooden handle. It was being held by an unfamiliar woman- from behind the next table? Maybe? Two pink braids framed a rather attractive face and Maria groaned at her own thought process. Not the time to be noticing pretty girls.

Especially pretty girls who would have no interest in her considering what a fool she’d just made of herself- “Sorry-”

Maria cut herself off when the woman bent down to extend a hand. “Ready to get up?”

No.

But there was no sense in making a scene so Maria took it. Tried not to think about how grimy her nails looked in comparison to french tips, or how rough her palms were. Maybe she should have worn her gloves, no sense in exposing strangers with soft skin to her callouses. 

“I’m Angelica, by the way.” Angelica. A fitting name. “Why don’t you sit behind the table with my sister? You don’t mind, do you, Eliza?”

The hand on Maria’s back only felt slightly patronizing but she swallowed it. Getting off of her knee for a bit would minimize how much she hated herself tomorrow.

Besides- Eliza- Eliza was pretty too. It would be rude to ask which one of them was adopted, or if maybe there was a step parent involved somewhere- but one thing was for sure- both women were far too attractive.

Because that was Maria’s luck. Embarrassment wasn’t complete without making her feel like a fumbling teenager again trying to find a prom date. 

In contrast with her sister’s pink color scheme, Eliza seemed to favor blue, showed off her love with the studs in her ears and the underside of her hair. Had the audacity to make overalls look good too. 

Angelica disappeared into the crowd, something about grabbing an ice pack and Maria swallowed, turning her attention to Eliza. “I’m so sorry-”

“You’re fine.” Eliza’s smile was pretty enough that Maria almost believed that. “We have an extra seat back here anyway. Usually, Pegs joins us but she decided to go to the co-op this weekend instead.”

Who Pegs was, Maria didn’t know, but she wasn’t about to turn down the chance to direct the attention anywhere but herself. “Co-op?” 

“Mm-” Eliza leaned down to grab a bag from under the table, producing a small card from inside- “Our little sister has decided that honey is her new passion. The co-op is a pretty cool place, though, even if you aren’t planning on getting your hands dirty. Fresh veggies and produce.”

Not necessarily Maria’s thing, but Aaron would-

Fuck.

“My bag-”

Eliza waved her hand toward the ground. “Right there. Ang picked it up for you while you were collecting yourself.”

That was- 

Nice.

Except Maria couldn’t reach it. Knew that without even extending her arm and Maria couldn’t find it in herself to ask for more help. They were already doing so much and this was mortifying enough without further prostrating herself.

Angelica’s reappearance kept her having to try and come up with something else to say and Maria closed her eyes. Held her breath and nodded when Angelica asked if it was okay to try and push up her leggings.

It wasn't, by any means, the worst pain she’d ever been in. But that didn’t mean that it felt particularly good when Angelica brushed against the swelling. 

“Nasty sc-” Angelica cut herself off, and Maria would have laughed if the alcohol wipe didn’t feel so strange, stinging one in one spot with complete numbness in the middle. With her eyes closed, Maria could pretend that Angelica wiped along the outside lines of her old surgery wound. But only with her eyes closed. “Probably no point in bandaging it up- do you think an ice pack would help?”

Maria exhaled slowly as Angelica wrapped tape around the ice pack to keep it in place. “Thanks.”

Angelica squeezed Maria’s shoulder before returning to her own seat. “Not a problem. My husband’s an EMT and he would kill me if he knew I left someone in need.”

Husband. 

Not that Maria stood a chance anyway. 

Trying to ignore the cold, Maria glanced over their table set up. With Angelica back behind the ‘counter’ so to speak, Eliza had moved back to her chair behind a smaller table in the back. Sat tilted in her seat so that she could still work on her project and keep an eye on Maria.

That sounded sinister. She’d done nothing to deserve that.

Still, Maria felt self-conscious enough, was just glad that the seat they’d placed her in was far enough back from the main table that no one would mistake her for the artist.

Eventually, Eliza noticed her staring and smiled, held up the zine in one hand and a needle in the other. “Ang is the one who does most of the work, but I like to sew her bindings for her. Gives them a clean feel.”

They were really impressive, too. No chance of getting stabbed with a staple or of a rubber band breaking apart. “Does your sister help with the zines too?”

“Pegs?” Eliza shook her head, setting down her work so that she could pass a finished one to Maria. “Not directly at least. She usually sells her stamps up here, and sometimes Ang uses those.”

That was one thing that Maria really liked about zines, the homemade feel of them. How much love went into each one. 

Especially ones like these. Angelica used stamps alright, but the stamps were clearly hand applied to each one rather than just applied to the first one and copied. Swirling glitter gel pen outlined the title, giving it an extra touch. Not to mention Eliza’s bindings, all tight and neat in pink thread.

Fitting considering the topic. Angelica, it seemed, was a romantic. Love poems and comics covered the pages.

Maria smoothed her thumb over one of the pages before going to hand it back, only to freeze when Eliza shook her head. “On the house.”

“But-”

Eliza raised an eyebrow, cutting off Maria’s apology. “You’re keeping me company. It gets lonely back here, ya know?”

“I’m not being very good company.” No. Maria did not need to slip into more self-deprecating comments, needed to try and move forward rather than wallow. “Do you mind passing me my bag? That way I can keep this safe.”

It was easier to ask for help with a good excuse and Maria murmured thank you as she tucked it in with the recipe book and minizine. The others were for Aaron, but at least she did manage to get something for herself. Even if it was a gift.

Snagged her phone as well, determined to get all of her rudeness over with at once so that she could attempt to be decent company.

[To: Aaron] might need u to pick up later- fell

[From: Aaron] So now.

Maria snorted, rolling her eyes. Ridiculous man.

[To: Aaron] later. resting behind table with nice znsters

[From: Aaron] Nice? 

[From: Aaron] Let me guess, you think one of them is pretty.

That was an entirely unfair call out. Maria was capable of thinking people were nice without finding them attractive- she just didn’t always say so.

[From: Aaron] Offer the cutie to come home for dessert. I made lava cake.

No. No. No way. No way at all was that happening.

Across from her, Eliza made a noise and Maria flushed.

“Boyfriend?” Maria shook her head. “Girlfriend?”

That question should not send Maria’s heart fluttering. She was being called out for being rude, not flirted with. “Roommate. He’s a worry wart and if I didn’t text him, he’d google the address and show up in person.”

Maria braced for it. For the ‘you’re so lucky you have someone who cares’ comment. For the ‘it looks like he has a right to worry’ joke. For the ‘seems like you need someone around.’ For any of the numerous dismissive or joking comments Maria had gotten over the year when she complained about Aaron’s mother-henning. It seemed everyone agreed she was a wreck who couldn’t be trusted with her own well being.

Maybe they were right. After all, she had gone with James. She’d refused to use her cane until she’d added fucked up cartilage to the list of things wrong with her. Still rarely used the braces like she was used to.

A small, almost pleased sounding hum from Eliza pulled her from that distressing train of thought. “Tell him that he’s a busy body and you’re with some perfectly lovely ladies who will ply you with juice and cookies soon if you’re willing to stick around.”

It felt nice to have her annoyance validated and the idea of sharing something Eliza? “I’ll be sure. I-” Maria glanced off- “He uh, had just said that he made cake, if y’all might like some? I could have him bring it when he picks me up.”  
.  
“Oooo-” Eliza picked up her needle and thread once more. “Is he a good baker?”

One of the best. Apparently, it was a habit he’d picked up in college and at least he’d graduated from stress baking to being more intentional with it. His own little coping skill.

Apparently, Eliza’s was flower pressing and writing letters to old friends by hand. A comment that ended with Angelica looking over shoulder and teasing that it was about time that Eliza stepped up her game. Couldn’t Maria convince her that those were a fantastic thing to include in a zine?

Really, the opening was a gift. Because if there was one thing Maria could talk about? It was the little touches that meant everything, and Eliza it seemed had plenty of talents. Seemed open to talk about them so long as it was about how to include it.

Especially if the sisters could work together. The flower pressing, the stamps, the hand-stitched bindings. All precious details. Even for something like interviews, which seemed like Eliza’s preferred topic. Interviews about life, about talents, about tragedy. 

Sharing other people’s stories. 

It was fascinating, really, watching Eliza’s face light up as she considered the possibility and Maria tried to ignore the warmth in her stomach at the idea that maybe, just maybe, she’d made a difference today. That even if they never talked again, Eliza would do something new because of her encouragement. 

Before Maria knew it an hour had passed and then two and then her phone was ringing, Aaron apologizing but if he was going to pick her up- it needed to be soon. That he had work soon.

Which- Maria puffed out her cheeks. “I guess that’s my final bell. Aaron’s going to be on his way soon, he’s pulling the night shift tonight.”

Eliza’s face fell and ouch, that hurt far more than it should have. Before Maria could apologize, Eliza reached up to rub at the back of her head, looking every bit as awkward as Maria felt. “That sucks. I hope today wasn’t too much of a bust, even with your leg bothering you.”

“Took a fall for us to meet, but it was worth it-” Maria joked before realizing just how it might be interpreted.

Tried not to panic when Eliza blushed, glancing off to the side before making eye contact. “Do you mean that?”

“I mean, this has been great, better than just walking around-” The words fell one after another, panic building in Maria’s throat. Because no, no, Maria was not ready for this to blow up in her face.

“Maybe we could do it again?” Maria froze as Eliza fiddled with the strap on her overalls. “Without the falling next time? But only if you’re okay with that.”

It felt surreal watching Eliza put her number into Maria’s phone. 

Aaron could eat it the next time he suggested that it going out wasn’t worth the risk of hurting herself. Maria planned to ride this high for a long time.


End file.
